Friday, March 12, 1999

Artwork by Eddie Nelson

Lar said he talked to you Wed nite so you know the details of what is going on here.  I'm waiting for the Hospice nurse to come & check on Dad & then the aide comes to wash him.  He has a few bed sores - he doesn't get up - sleeps most of the time.  We are to turn him from side to side periodically but it isn't easy as he is very rigid - part of Parkinson's.  He hasn't wanted to eat since last Mon. & takes very little water.  His body is shutting down.  It is so hard to see him esp. when we are eating a good meal & he can't or won't eat.   They told me to wash out his mouth with a small sponge like on a stick.  When I tried yesterday he shut his mouthy & wouldn't let me do it.  So there is still some awareness.

Last Wed. after the R.N. was here, I decided to call the Dr's office & post pone by cataract removal.  And it was like a big burden was lifted.  I couldn't lift after that & I have to do some lifting.  And if Dad leaves us this weekend it wouldn't work out.

The pastor was over but Dad didn't wake up so he didn't have communion.  Ray Forstrom was over yesterday & he had a brief prayer as the nurse arrived at the same time.  All the people from Hospice are so nice - it is a wonderful service.

I've been making out my grocery list to make sure I have the things the boys like.  I have the choc. cookies for Andy & the choc. chip for Paul in the freezer.  Eddie's I make just before you come.  They are better not frozen.

Got your letter yesterday.  Great news about Andy's basketball winning games & his scoring.  Nice to think those fellows will be together in sports.  Some deep friendships will be formed.  Maybe you'll outstay the previous Lib. Director.

We too have snow on the ground.  Had 6-8" this past week.

Did you see how much snow Rochester had this past week.  Think it added up to 48" from 2 storms in one week.

Once all this is finished, I'll have plenty to keep me busy, to make it easier to adjust. I haven't really cleaned the house that good.  The rugs need shampooing & I'd like to get the sofa & love seat recovered.  And our bedroom needs a good cleaning.  That will be therapy for me.

It is so nice to have the eating area back.  Didn't realize I'd miss it so much.  Dale agrees, too.

We have the D.R. table close to the bed so it's easier to care for Dad.  The table is covered with things to help him.  Clean towels for washing him, plastic gloves, liquid soap & lotion, kleenex etc. so it makes it much handier.

We squeezed around the round table last nite - 5 of us so it was tight.  Kim somehow spilled her hot coffee on her lap.  She had to go home & change her pants.  Altho I offered her a Depend!!!  She didn't want to borrow Barb's pants.  I'm so lucky to have 2 wonderful daughters-in-law.  Hope Dale can someday find someone.

Barb & Kim are now L.A. basketball fans seeing Scotty & Rodman play there.

You'll have a busy time in Chicago with all you've planned.  Two lucky boys,.  The 27th will come fast & I'm looking forward to your visit.

000

Friday, March 5, 1999

I've been thinking about Cindy & Albert so was glad to hear Julianna Marie arrived safe & sound.  Thanks for the address - I want to send a card to them.

We woke up to snow & wind yesterday & there was no school.  You've probably read that the seniors are upset as they have to change the graduation date.

Tues. was my Dr. appt.  Margie, physician's assistant, checked me out.  I needed a blood test & the hosp. is close by & I didn't have to fast so I got the test & go back on Wed. for instructions if it is the thyroid.  It was a beautiful day so I walked home & enjoyed that.

 Wed a representative from Hosp. Home Care came to check Carl out.  He said I definitely need help.  Yesterday someone from Hospice came but you can only have their help if the patient has 6 mo. or less to live & the Dr. must make that choice.  And Parkinson's is hard because it isn't a life killing disease.  I don't know what will happen.  The easiest thing would be to put Dad in a nursing home & that is never a choice   He stays home as long as we can care for him.  Barb & Dale are good to help.

Mark Patterson came over & we made arrangements.  We both decided on cremation previously & you can rent a casket for that.  Tues the 9th Lar & I will choice a casket.  T his way when the time comes, that process is done.  We prepare for birth so we need to prepare for death & it's easier as you reach late 70s & 80s.  It's a fact of life.

I can't remember you visiting Polk Center (new name) & I can't remember your late night house party.  Can't even remember having anything special for "munchies".  So it couldn't have been that bad, or noisy.

So Ruthie died.  A blessing as she was bad for a long time.  Someone called Mon. nite (1st) & Dale got the message as Barb & I got groceries & missed the call.  I wrote a note & sent a memorial check but it won't get mailed til tomorrow.

JoAnna, a week has gone by in your new job.  How are things going?  I know there is a period of adjustment but I know you will go into it "full speed ahead", do a wonderful job, have new learning experiences and will love it.  We think of all of you everyday.

Will Andy have a brief spell of no practices or does he go ahead into another sport.  You are never at a loss as to where the next practice is, time & all.  It's a great experience for the boys.

We look forward to your visit.  I'm already planning for it.  Tell Andy stuffed pork chops will be on the menu.

Barb takes care of Scott today.  Yesterday he went to the Y so she didn't have to work.

Dad is still sleeping but I'll get him up soon.  One load of wash is soon ready for the dryer.  He's in p.j.'s now most of the time as he likes to nap in bed.  More comfortable than the chair.  Won't chew or swallow so it's a liquid diet.

Hospice just called & they said Dad can be in Hospice so someone & a Hospice nurse will come at 11 A.M. They would like someone in the family present.  I'll call Lar as it is easiest for him to get away.

Hospice was over this A.M. & already things are moving.  They are bringing in a hosp. bed & a belt that helps you hang onto him or help pull him up.  Next Mon, Wed, Fri. someone will come to bathe him, etc.  The nurse examined him & his blood pressure is high.

Dr. McNett's office called & I have hyperactive thyroid - that's why I lost weight.  I will take 3 pills a day.  Will see the Dr. the 19th & must have a blood test first.  Mon. of that week I go to the hosp. for orientation, Tues eye fixed, Wed. to eye Dr. for a check, Thurs. McNett.  So I won't get much done this week.  The following week Sat. you come.  But I'll be set.

The case worker for Hospice Ellen Ruffalo said to me "You're independent aren't you".  I said yes.  I guess I want to do things myself but I've hit a rock that won't move.

The hosp. bed came but it won't fit in the eating area so it's in the dining room alongside the window.  I'll have to rearrange the D.R. a bit.  But I'll have the eating area back & I like that a lot.

Dale needs a new mattress.  Wonder if he'd take the twin bed until he gets a new one.  What do I do with it is the question.  Too good just to set aside.

Time to bring this to a close & get to the dining rm.  Need to move the table, etc.

You know what is happening here.